Many people prefer cash over physical gifts, but how to ask for honeymoon money instead of gifts without seeming rude?
Weddings are expensive, and wishing to gather more money for the trip of your dreams is understandable.
Wishing to receive monetary gifts isn’t about greed. It’s about collecting experiences instead of belongings.
You likely already have a mixer, multiple spatulas, and baking pans. Maybe you don’t even need them because you prefer to eat out.
Asking for money as a wedding gift is normal, but you should follow the wedding gift registry etiquette and find the right words to phrase your request.
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Be Clear & Honest
Regardless of the way you’re going to ask for honeymoon money instead of gifts, be clear and honest. Avoid vague phrasing, and don’t feel ashamed for requesting to fund your post-wedding trip.
Homeware items were the most common wedding gifts back in the day because many couples didn’t live together before getting married.
However, nowadays, newlyweds typically live together before the wedding and already have all the necessary home stuff.
Furthermore, wedding gifts aren’t always unique. Couples often receive the same items multiple times and have to give them away. In other words, traditional wedding gifts are often unpractical and a waste of the guests’ money.
Of course, some of your guests may have a fantastic gift idea that would make you happy. Perhaps, they’ve put a lot of thought into the gift. For this reason, you shouldn’t force your guests to gift money.
Still, money typically is a more practical gift than physical items, vouchers, or gift cards. There’s nothing wrong with asking for cash or cheque.
After all, a wedding is a costly affair, and a wish to reimburse at least a part of the costs is expected. Most importantly, you should ask politely and understand guests who refuse and bring you other gifts.
Don’t Ask for Cash on the Invitations
Never ask your guests to gift you cash or cheques on the wedding invitations. Your formal wedding invitations should contain only essential information relevant to the ceremony and reception, such as time, location, and dress code.
Gift requests of any kind don’t belong on wedding invitations. Including a honeymoon fund request on your invites may be perceived as rude, as if your big day revolved around gifts and you were inviting your guests only to gather money for a honeymoon.
Of course, this is never true. Couples typically spend significantly more on feeding and entertaining each guest than they receive from the guest as a gift.
Still, asking for money on invites goes against wedding invitation etiquette.
Furthermore, your guests should comply with the rules stated on the invitation, so you leave them no choice by requesting them to gift money.
Let’s take the dress code as an example. If your invitations state that you have a black-tie affair, your guests will have to find evening gowns and suits. You would likely consider guests dressed in jeans and sneakers impolite.
The same goes for everything else mentioned in the formal invites. If you state that the reception is adults-only, your guests shouldn’t bring their children.
And if you ask to gift money, they have to comply, but that’s inconsiderate of you.
Remember that each of your guests has a different financial situation. The average monetary wedding gift is about $150, and not everyone has the money. On the other hand, you can get a great physical gift for under $50.
Sure, your guests don’t have to meet the average threshold. However, they may feel uncomfortable gifting your significantly less than others, and some may not like the idea of monetary gifts for different reasons.
Cash Registry Websites
Nowadays, many couples use wedding gift registry websites. Some of such platforms allow couples to collect cash apart from creating store wishlists. However, there are also websites dedicated specifically to monetary gifts.
Wedding cash registry websites are a lifesaving option for couples who are too humble to ask for cash directly.
Thanks to technological development, modern couples can give their guests a hint about the expected gifts without saying a word.
All you need to do is provide a link to the website for your wedding guests. Naturally, you shouldn’t send them the link via social media or email. Instead, add the link to your wedding website or reception cards.
No one considers creating a gift registry tacky, so why would providing a donation link be? A blend of a traditional gift registry with a honeymoon fund gives your guests the freedom of choice and streamlines the money transfer process.
With a registry website, your friends and family won’t need to withdraw cash, buy fancy envelopes, and hand them to you at the wedding. Meanwhile, you won’t need to spend the morning after the wedding counting cash.
Cash registry websites let your guests send money in a couple of clicks, along with a heartfelt congratulation.
Some such platforms provide the couple with a comprehensive list of each guest’s gift amount and notes after the wedding.
However, be careful when choosing your wedding gift registry website. Some sites charge transaction processing fees deducted from the monetary gift, usually about 2.7%.
A 2.7% processing fee may not seem like a big deal, but suppose you receive ten monetary gifts of $100 each.
You would lose $27 in transaction processing fees. No, imagine that you’ve received 100 monetary gifts – you’d lose a couple of hundreds of dollars.
Pay attention to the payment and money transfer methods. The more payment systems a website supports, the easier gifting money is for your guests.
Some platforms only support card payments or bank transfers, while others also offer PayPal, Apple Pay, and other popular systems.
Make sure that the website has an option to explain the purpose of your wedding fund. Your guests may be more willing to gift you money if they know how you’ll spend it.
Some gift registry websites even let you swap your physical gifts for cash directly via the platform after the big day.
However, be careful when taking advantage of this option if your guests expect to see the kitchen utensils they’ve gifted when they visit your house.
Be Specific About the Cash Purpose
Money is among the most practical wedding gifts, but many people find it impersonal and therefore prefer non-monetary gifts.
Being specific about the cash purpose makes your request more relatable, and the guests will be more willing to fund your honeymoon.
How to Phrase the Request Politely
Honeymoon fund wording is the trickiest part for many couples. How do you ask for honeymoon money instead of gifts politely? Where to place a honeymoon fund request without seeming pushy?
If you’re using a gift registry website, leave a note there. If you’re a bit old-fashioned and don’t want to embrace technology or find gift registry websites tacky, leave a note on other personalized communications such as RSVP cards or invites.
Honeymoon fund wording examples are numerous and diverse. Your request phrasing can be clear and concise, e.g., “A contribution towards our honeymoon fund instead of a gift is much appreciated.”
Another example of a short and sweet honeymoon fund request is, “We appreciate any attention, but a contribution towards wonderful honeymoon experiences will make a truly memorable gift.”
Alternatively, you can add humor to the request if you prefer a more casual communication style. In contrast, if you have a formal, traditional wedding, opt for equally formal honeymoon fund wording.
You may explain your monetary gift request in more detail, but don’t go overboard. Respect your guests’ time, and don’t make them read a page-long explanation of your fund.
For example, you may write something along the lines of “We are thankful for our loved ones for attending our wedding. As we enter our marriage, we realize that we have enough belongings.
Therefore, we would highly appreciate it if our guests would help us fund a memorable honeymoon. Our wedding gift registry includes a fund along with a range of experiences such as excursions, spa days, and meals.
We are excited to spend this special day with you and look forward to sharing glimpses into our honeymoon trip as we return. Thank you!”.
Lastly, some couples opt for playful poems that make the request feel lighthearted, e.g.:
“If a gift is on your mind,
A contribution would be kind.
It will help us more than words can say,
To celebrate our special day!”
Pick an option that fits your wedding style and personality. Most importantly, be respectful even in informal requests and don’t insist on monetary gifts but ask kindly.
Ask Someone to Spread the Word
If you find asking to fund your honeymoon directly obtrusive, ask your best friends or family members to spread the word about your preferred gifts.
This way, your guests will know your wishes while you won’t have to ask for cash.
However, note that this isn’t the most reliable way to ask for money instead of wedding gifts. The word may not reach some of your guests, and others will ignore it because they didn’t receive the request from you personally.
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