Who Should Host a Bridal Shower?

It turns out that there are quite a few options, so the bride’s loved ones should decide on who throws the bridal shower early to avoid confusion and arguments.

When deciding who hosts the bridal shower, keep in mind that planning a party is challenging. It requires a lot of time, effort, creativity, and money.

Sometimes, there’s only one host. In other cases, the bridal shower is organized by the entire wedding party. Communicate with other wedding party members, and you’ll find the optimal solution.

Maid of Honor

The maid of honor is the most popular bridal shower host option. Typically, the maid of honor is the bride’s closest friend who is willing to put in extra effort to make her happy.

However, being the maid of honor isn’t all fun and games but is also a great responsibility. Planning the bridal shower and bachelorette party is only a couple of the maid of honor duties.

This makes perfect sense because the maid of honor likely knows the bride better than anyone else, and bridal showers are often a surprise.

Who else would be able to create the guest list, select the venue, and come up with entertainment to fit the bride’s preference? One may argue that the bride’s mom also knows her well, but that’s a different kind of bond.

However, there could be exceptions. Such a vast array of duties can be overwhelming. The maid of honor isn’t a superhero, and handling everything alone is challenging.

Furthermore, the maid of honor doesn’t put her life to a halt until her friend’s wedding. She may also have personal plans or be busy with work.

Hosting a bridal shower may be the maid of honor’s responsibility, but it isn’t set in stone. After all, the maid of honor is just a human being, and she’s free to refrain from planning the party if she can’t handle it.

Bridesmaids

Planning a bridal shower is significantly easier for the entire bridesmaid crew than for the maid of honor alone. Splitting tasks (and expenses!) can streamline the planning process and take the burden off the maid of honor’s shoulders, letting her focus on other duties.

However, a lack of understanding and poor communication between the bridesmaids can actually complicate the bridal shower planning process. This option is only suitable if the bridesmaids go well along and are willing to compromise.

Sometimes, the maid of honor handles the entire planning process, and the bridesmaids only ship in. That’s a valid option since the maid of honor is meant to be the most involved in the wedding planning.

Bride’s Sister

If the bride has a sister, she can take the responsibility of planning the bridal shower. Siblings often know us better than anyone else, especially if the age gap isn’t drastic.

Planning a bridal shower for a sister you’ve grown up with is very sentimental. And while friends may come and go, the family remains forever.

Of course, sisters don’t always have a great relationship. If the bride is closer with her friends than with her sister, it’s best to leave the planning duties to the bridesmaids.

The bride’s sister may also have difficulty planning the event if she lives out of town. Exceptions aside, sister is among the most popular bridal shower host options.

Bride’s Mother or Grandmother

Historically, the bride’s immediate family members never planned the bridal shower because it could be perceived as asking for money and gifts. However, times change, and so does the meaning of the event.

Nowadays, gifts are only a bonus to fun and social interactions. Therefore, the bride’s mother or grandmother can safely host a bridal shower without fearing it would be deemed inappropriate.

Bridal showers tend to be costly endeavors, although not as expensive as weddings. Bridesmaids can’t always handle the expenses, but the bride’s parents or grandparents typically have more financial possibilities.

Furthermore, the bride’s mother or grandmother will undoubtedly be willing to invest all their effort in the planning. You can have a hundred friends, but you only have one mother – or two grandmothers.

Other Bride’s Family Members

Nowadays, the bridal shower is typically hosted by the maid of honor. However, traditionally, it was the responsibility of the bride’s extended family members. Let’s dive into a brief history of bridal showers.

Back in the day, bridal showers emerged as an alternative to the dowry system. If the bride came from a poor family or her parents didn’t accept her choice and refused a dowry, her extended female family members held a bridal shower.

The event’s purpose was to collect dowry and prepare the bride for her new role. Although the dowry system isn’t in place in the modern-day U.S., honoring the bridal shower tradition is always a good idea.

Furthermore, multiple family members can collect more money and split the planning tasks. Sometimes, the bride’s mother handles the planning, and extended family members chip in, or vice versa.

However, not everyone has a close relationship with their aunts and cousins, so this option is only valid if the bride has good contact with her extended family.

Groom’s Mother

Historically, the bridal shower didn’t involve anyone from the groom’s side. However, modern bridal showers often welcome the groom’s mother, grandmothers, sisters, and other female family members.

From the etiquette and tradition perspective, the groom’s mother may not be an optimal bridal shower host choice, but it’s very sentimental.

If the bride’s future mother-in-law wants to throw the party to welcome her into the family, introduce her to relatives and friends, or simply take the burden off the MOH’s shoulders, that’s alright.

If the bride doesn’t feel comfortable with her future mother-in-law hosting the shower, she can politely refuse the event. But it’s lovely of her, so why not accept it as an honor?

Bride’s Best Male Friend

Rules are made to be broken, and modern bridal shower rules are significantly more liberal than they used to be centuries ago. Back in the day, bridal showers were women-only events.

Nowadays, the event isn’t as gender-focused. Some couples even opt for a wedding shower involving people from both partners’ sides.

If the bride is close to her male friend, why leave him out only because of his gender? As long as the groom doesn’t mind the friendship, of course.

If the bride’s male friend knows her better than any of the female friends, he can throw a much better party than the entire bridesmaid team combined.

After all, some women don’t have a single close female friend. Most importantly, the bridal shower must be hosted by someone who cares about the bride and knows her well.

Should the Bride Be Involved?

According to bridal shower etiquette, the bride should never host her own party because the entire purpose of the event is to “shower” her with gifts.

But can the bride be involved in bridal shower planning? Should she at least help the hosts choose the venue and create the guest list?

Sometimes, the bridal shower is a surprise, and the bride doesn’t know about it until the last day. However, in most cases, the bride is involved to some degree because surprise parties have numerous pitfalls.

The bridal shower host must find out whether the bride is free on the selected day, who she would like to invite, and other essential points.

Still, the bride’s involvement is usually limited to essential points. As a rule of thumb, she shouldn’t pick the venue, menu, or entertainment herself.

Some brides feel awkward about someone hosting a party for them and want to chip in. They’re free to do so, but the bridal shower host should never ask the bride to pay for the party unless she decides so herself.

Who Should Not Host The Bridal Shower

With so many bridal shower host options, it may be easier to answer who shouldn’t host the bridal shower. Historically, the bride’s family members weren’t involved in the party planning, but we’ve already determined that this rule isn’t valid in modern times.

On the other hand, the groom, both his parents or anyone else from his side, should never host the bridal party. It may be seen as inappropriate and goes against the entire meaning of the event.

If the party involves the groom’s family and friends, it’s considered a couples’ wedding shower and is an entirely different event.

The couple shouldn’t host the bridal shower either. They can host the engagement party but hosting a bridal or wedding shower looks like asking for gifts.

If the groom’s mother wants to host the bridal shower, she should first ensure the maid of honor or the bride’s family members don’t want to do so. Although it’s nice of her, it isn’t traditional.

Overall, communication between the bride’s family, friends, and the groom’s female family members is vital to avoid throwing multiple parties.