Who Pays For Bridal Shower?

Making the couple’s parents cover all the costs related to wedding celebrations would be unfair. Furthermore, the tradition states that they aren’t the ones responsible for hosting a bridal shower.

The traditional bridal shower host may seem unexpected to many. And even more surprising is the story behind this custom.

However, nowadays, the decision of who hosts and pays for a bridal shower is reserved for the couple.

A bridal shower can be hosted by just about anyone, including the couple themselves, the bridesmaids, or the groom’s mother.

Who Pays Traditionally?

Today, many couples prefer to host their bridal shower themselves. However, we should get to a couple of centuries back to understand who traditionally pays for a bridal shower.

Back in the day, the bride’s parents used to give a hope chest or a trousseau to the newlyweds to help them establish their new independent life.

The neighbors and friends would supplement whatever was missing for a happy start to married life at the bridal shower.

However, the bride’s immediate family hosting the bridal shower could have been seen as gift-grabbing. For this reason, bridal showers were hosted by the bride’s further relatives, such as cousins and aunts.

As a rule of thumb, whoever hosts the party must also pay for it. Thus, the costs were traditionally divided between the bride’s relatives.

This tradition was preserved throughout multiple centuries and only started to morph into something different recently. To this day, women in many families prefer to observe the old-fashioned bridal shower etiquette.

Bride’s Friends

While some modern brides can still boast generous and thoughtful aunts and cousins hosting bridal showers for them, this duty more and more often falls on the bride’s friends.

Sometimes, bridal showers are hosted by a group of friends, for instance, the bridesmaids. In other cases, the entire event is organized by a single best friend, often the maid of honor.

Traditionally, bridal showers were hosted for women by women. But today, parties hosted by best male friends are becoming increasingly common, too.

As you already know, the bridal shower is traditionally paid for by the host. However, a single friend may have trouble covering all the costs. In this case, other friends, the bride’s mother, or other relatives may chip in.

This way, the total cost is divided into smaller, more bearable portions. Furthermore, the more people are involved in planning, the easier hosting the bridal shower is.

For example, one person may be responsible for decorations, another for food, and the third one for the venue. This means that no one will feel overwhelmed by the responsibility or carry the financial burden alone.

Immediate Family

Traditionally, the bride’s family members pay for a bridal shower to avoid the event being seen as gift-grabbing.

However, in today’s reality, the cost of a bridal shower is typically higher than the cost of all the gifts the couple receives.

In other words, nowadays, a bridal shower is unlikely to be considered gift-grabbing. It’s usually seen simply as an opportunity to congratulate the couple on their engagement and have some fun with friends.

Since the “gift-grabbing” issue is no longer relevant, the bride’s immediate family can host the bridal shower. Etiquette tends to change depending on cultural implications and period, so why follow outdated customs?

An important point to note is that if the bride’s immediate family hosts the bridal shower, they also traditionally create the guest list. It usually includes all the family members invited to the wedding.

Thus, if you’d like to make your bridal shower a friends-only event, you should pay for it yourself. Asking your parents or grandparents to pay for your party with friends may be considered unfair.

The Bride

Today, more and more couples choose to pay for their bridal shower themselves. That’s a mature decision that has multiple advantages. First of all, it showcases that the couple is ready to take on responsibility.

The ability to pay for their own bridal shower indicates that the couple is financially stable and doesn’t rely on their parents or other family members. Secondly, this gives the couple full freedom of organizational choices.

For instance, when the bride’s family members host the bridal shower, they traditionally invite everyone invited to the wedding.

This often leads to a bridal shower resembling a wedding rehearsal rather than a separate event.

But if the couple pays for the event on their own, they can choose who to invite. The couple may want to only see their friends and not farther family members, or, on the opposite, keep it a family event.

The same applies to the choice of theme, dress code, venue, food, drinks, and favors.

For example, the bride’s parents may be willing to keep the bridal shower formal and classy, whereas the couple may wish to host a laid-back BBQ in the backyard.

However, couples wishing to host their bridal party themselves must be aware of the costs. Of course, a bridal shower won’t cost as much as a wedding, but it still won’t be cheap.

The price of a bridal shower can range anywhere from $500 to over $2500.

The couple should consider whether such relatively high expenses are bearable, especially if they already pay for the wedding, bachelorette, and bachelor parties themselves.

Groom’s Mother

The trend of the groom’s mother paying for the bridal shower is gaining popularity. Bear in mind that this practice has several etiquette implications.

Before hosting a bridal shower, the groom’s mother should ensure that the bride’s family members don’t want to host it themselves, following the tradition.

If they are already planning to host it, the groom’s mother may chip in or host a second party (after all, there are never too many parties).

The groom’s mother should also discuss who pays for the rehearsal dinner with the bride’s parents or the couple themselves.

Customarily, the rehearsal dinner is the domain of the groom’s parents, so they should calculate the potential additional expenses in advance.

Lastly, the groom’s mother should consult with someone from the bride’s side regarding her preferences and the guest list. This will ensure no one close to the bride is left behind, and the bride genuinely likes the party.

What the Host Should & Shouldn’t Pay For

Deciding who pays for the bridal shower is only the first step. The next step is to determine what bridal shower hosts should pay for and which costs they don’t have to cover. This question often causes confusion.

Traditionally, the host covers all basic bridal shower expenses, such as venue rent, food, drinks, music, and treats for guests. However, some expenses are not as obvious, and each case is unique.

If the bridal shower is hosted in a restaurant, the hosts typically order food and drinks in advance. They may offer the guests a limited selection of drinks, for instance, only wine, juice, and water.

If the guests wish to order beer or rum instead of the suggested wine, they are free to do so, but the host isn’t obliged to cover the costs. The guest ordering the drink should pay for it on their own, requesting a separate bill.

The same applies to food. If the hosts offer cupcakes for dessert, but a guest wants to order ice cream, it isn’t the hosts’ expense to cover.

The host must ensure that they offer a good selection of food and drinks to avoid such situations.

Sometimes, bridal showers are hosted outside of the town or even outside of the state. According to etiquette, in this case, the travel costs of all guests must be covered by the host.

Exceptions may apply, though. If the hosts can’t bear the expenses but everyone invited agrees to pay for their travel themselves, there’s no harm in dividing the costs.

Some couples opt for creative bridal shower ideas, such as visiting an attraction park, a concert, or a SPA. Like with travel, the hosts must ensure they can bear the costs before inviting everyone for a bridal party.

However, if everyone invited agrees to cover their share, the hosts can limit their expenses to invitations, treats, food, and travel.

Alternatively, the hosts may impose a limit on the number of attraction rides of SPA treatments covered.

For instance, the hosts may cover one SPA treatment for each person, but guests themselves should cover any additional treatments.

Any expenses that the guests may have to cover themselves must be discussed with them prior to the event. Not when the guests have already arrived, but at least two weeks prior.

This will let the guests set their budget and refuse to attend on time if they can’t afford it.